Boil the Sap to Syrup

I saw this scene this morning and it was like they were whispering about me…

“Have you seen her? Have you seen how much she has healed?”

Now, I’m not of the mind that figurines talk about me. 😂 I’m also not a huge collector of many things. These are the only two of the pretty variety available out there. (And as you can see, that lavender has seen better days. I keep gluing it back on but kids and cats man. 😬 This is why I can’t have nice things. 😂)

But these two were given to me during really important growing seasons for me by people I love very much. One was given to me to honor the loss of my baby girl. The other to celebrate my growth journey in my business. The irony is that I called my business “Hope and Lavender.” I could easily call these little figurines Hope and Lavender…maybe I’ll do that. 🤔

Okay back to the words about the thing.

The growth I’ve experienced in between receiving these two figurines is incredible. I’ve come into myself in ways I didn’t know that I could. And I keep discovering places inside of me that have been healed and I didn’t even realize it! These are places I’ve struggled so hard in the past but now because of my healing journey, I struggle no more.

And as I caught a glimpse of these two…which I did not position this way. Remember, cats and kids? I felt a strong sense of God Himself…the angels..all whispering about me.

Have you seen her?! Do you see how much she has healed?!

And it’s not about pride. It’s not about oh look at me, look at me. It’s actually extremely humbling.

It’s also important for me to share because I believe my life message, my life mission, is to bring Hope and to help people have victory in their lives. My name actually means “Victory of the People”!

But you can’t lead others into victory until you’ve had it yourself.

You can’t teach someone how to heal from being cracked wide open until you’ve been cracked open too.

You can’t comfort someone deeply when you haven’t cried the tears yourself.

My counselor asked me one day how I have kept going. What was it through the pain that kept me alive…kept me from killing myself like I wanted to at times? I answered, “Because I always knew the pain I was going through was going to be used for somebody else. I knew the pain had to have a purpose because otherwise I may have succumbed to it.”

I knew that God didn’t CAUSE the situations I was going through, but in His infinite wisdom He allowed them. Not because He enjoyed seeing me in pain. But because I may have made some choices of my own that led me down a path and He supports free will. Or maybe He knew some things would mold and shape me for His purposes. I recognize that many folks have extreme anger at God for allowing things in their lives…and for awhile I did too. But I had to come to a place in my own healing journey where I recognized and submitted to His sovereignty. To a greater plan and the greater good. And that’s when everything changed for me. I stopped living inward and started looking outward.

In a way I sometimes get giddy when a new challenge arises. (Not always, haha. But sometimes!) Because I have changed my lens to be able to look at hard times as an opportunity to set a new people group free! I understand that what you go through/grow through gives you authority to unlock chains for other people. When you’ve been in the same prison, you have the right keys.

So I am not necessarily HAPPY to endure, but I know now what it means to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

I’m so thankful I had to memorize that chapter for my youth group all those years ago. Because there are so many times that chapter has carried me through pitch black darkness.

Anyways, when you read this, I hope it gives you a deep sense of Hope. I hope when you read these words, and any of my other words, that it encourages you to keep going. Keep crawling your way through it. Because eventually the darkness ends and the morning comes and you will be able to set someone else free too!

There’s purpose for the pain, but only if we go through and process it. Boil the sap to syrup, as they say here in Vermont. 😉

Blessings to you today!

-Nikki